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Joke of the Day

"Apparently, when your boss asks you to get a cake for a coworker's 60th birthday, 'cake' is not code for 'stripper.' Live & learn, guys."

"Baby, I would run into a burning building from you."

"A wife gets naked ...and asks her husband, 'What turns you on more! my pretty face or my sexy body?' Husband looks her up and down for a moment and replies, 'Your sense of humor.'"

"Having sex in an elevator.. ..is wrong on so many levels"

"If you weigh a whale at a whale weigh station, where do you weigh a pie? Somewhere over the rainbow, weigh a pie."

"I lost ten pounds! Learn my hot diet secret! (I replaced booze with pot)"

"I love telling jokes... But I always punch up the fuck line. Shit!"

"Why do black people have nightmares? Because we killed the only one that had a dream"

"Why was Homer Simpson in such a rush to get to the Kwik-E-Mart? He desperately needed Apu."

"Why can't a blonde dial 911? Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911? A: She can't find the eleven."