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Joke of the Day

"You can't go up in a down elevator... ...but you can go down in an up elevator"

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"What's the difference between a large pizza and a black man? The large pizza can feed a family of four."
"Freak people out in public restrooms by saying ""come in"" when they knock on the stall door."
"What do cannibal say when they say grace? ''We thank youLord for our daily dead!''"
"Whenever I lose a follower I assume they died and the family had the account removed, because hello! I'm amazing!!"
"I don't believe women have souls. Neither do men. I don't believe in souls."
"I loathe earlier versions of myself as though they were separate people."
"Doubt this is welcome in /r/ShowerThoughts but thought of it there. How many rascist Drink names can we collectively think of? I'll edit the best ones into this post. Mine was ""*White Power*-ade""."
"My proctologist has PTSD He has seen some shit"
"How many dead hookers does it take to change a lightbulb? Apparently more than 5, because my basement is still dark."