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Joke of the Day
"I loathe earlier versions of myself as though they were separate people."
Next Joke
"What did the spider say to the fly ? We're getting married do you want to come to the webbing ?"
"I swear if one more person RT's poetry into my TL I will draw a bath, light some candles, and just get lost in the verse's haunting imagery."
"A really big joke... r/jokes"
"The Viking God Thor comes to Earth... and spends all weekend shagging a woman with a harelip. On Monday morning he says to her ""I am Thor"". She replies ""you're thor, I can't even pith!"""
"What do you call a person who is outstanding in their field? A farmer"
"Yes, it might be the wrong word but at least it is spelled correctly - autocorrect"
"A surprising number of people, even in 2010, lack the depth perception to sit in the right airplane row on the first try."
"On dates, if a man says the past tense of ""see"" as ""I seen"" instead of ""I saw,"" I go to the bathroom and climb out the window."
"In North Korea... [edited] everything is grand and prosperous and USA is smelly"