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Joke of the Day

"Doubt this is welcome in /r/ShowerThoughts but thought of it there. How many rascist Drink names can we collectively think of? I'll edit the best ones into this post. Mine was ""*White Power*-ade""."

"I don't know why these Jehovah's Witnesses won't give me their addresses in case I think of something more to shout at them."

"How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room starts spinning."

"My parrot was hit by a car today His last words were ""Shit, theres a parrot on the road"""

"I will not kill my coworkers I will not kill my coworkers I will not.... Maybe just one..."

"hi yes i'd like a vodka salad please ""you mean a bloody mary"" yeah yeah whatever just hurry it up"

"Hahaha this stupid baby on the bus thinks they can cry louder than me"

"According to this box of cereal I am a family of 13 eating breakfast"

"Two cats cross a river... first cats name is un deux trois. The second cats name is one two three. Which cat made it across? The second cat because un deux trois cat sank."

"There's one thing I can't stand when I'm drunk Up"