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Joke of the Day

"Me: Did it hurt when you fell from Kevin? Friend: Yes, because Kevin's friggin tall and sucks at giving piggy back rides Kevin: bro"

"What's the difference between a hormone and an enzyme? You can't hear an enzyme."

"What's black and doesn't work? Decaf coffee you racist fuck."

"I was disappointed by the British version of Breaking Bad. It ends after he gets cancer and all his treatment is paid for by the NHS."

"Half of men in America watch porn everyday. The other half are waiting for Comcast to fix their internet connection."

"There better be a martial arts tournament in Australia called Mortal Wombat"

"What does a duck call a tractor? A Quakter"

"*sneaks into sons room to scare him* *trips over skateboard* *steps on something squishy* *turns light on* *makes him clean his room*"

"Just found out today that the barber of my neighborhood got arrested for selling drugs. I'm shocked! I was his customer for years and didn't know he cut hair!"

"I just farted & my dog looked at me like i asked her a calculus question"