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Joke of the Day

"*im applying Chapstick and doing curtseys in the mirror* *dad walks past* *dad double takes* *im doing push-ups and drinkin a protein snake*"

"Dark comedy is like food Not everyone gets it."

"My last girlfriend ate a like a bird She literally banged her head repeatedly onto the table to eat"

"I like my bagels like I like my women; lightly toasted with sesame seeds and a little butter. I don't understand this joke format."

"Did they play tennis in ancient Egypt? Yes the bible tells how Joseph served in Pharoah's court!"

"I like my exes like I like my msn messenger Misremembered fondly but gone forever."

"What did the Jew with a boner say when he bumped into a wall? Oowwww...my nose."

"If by 'the Hamptons' you mean 'my pajamas', then yes, I absolutely weekend in the Hamptons."

"Lincoln should win for most likely DVD to be put on by substitute teachers"

"What is the similarity between tight rope walking and an old lady giving you head? You don't want to look down."