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Joke of the Day

"I like my bagels like I like my women; lightly toasted with sesame seeds and a little butter. I don't understand this joke format."

"A geeky joke: An SQL Query walks into a bar... ... and joins two tables."

"I bet Lance Armstrong is smugly saying ""at least I didn't kill anybody"" to like every person he sees today."

"My mom's so pessimistic... If there was an Olympics for pessimism ... she wouldn't fancy her chances."

"What did the quiet orange say to the noisy orange? ""Be quiet, I'm concentrating!"""

"What's the best thing about having sexy with twenty one year olds? There's twenty of 'em. edit: autocorrect is a bitch - we all know what it should say."

"I accidentally filled the escort with diesel, she died."

"Why do scuba divers fall backwards off of the boat? Because if they fell forwards, they would still be in the boat."

"Barbie has an awful lot of things for a girl who's knees don't bend."

"The older you get the less people you can actually tolerate. I can tolerate about 5 people right now, 3 are my children and even that's iffy"