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Joke of the Day
"If by 'the Hamptons' you mean 'my pajamas', then yes, I absolutely weekend in the Hamptons."
Next Joke
"Boy asks Girl.... Boy: Will you marry me? *girl slaps him* Girl: What did you say? *boy gets up and and slaps her twice* Boy: If you didn't hear what I said, then why did you slap me?"
"Apparently Donald Trump's favourite film is E.T... Because it's about an illegal alien that goes home."
"Only mass transit kids will get this! We rank the top rails, the third one will shock you!"
"What does a mermaid wear to math class? An ""algebra"""
"Where do you find a down-and-out octopus ? On squid row !"
"[airport] ""you should have used a tag"" [a horse emerges on luggage belt] noone else has brought a horse linda [another horse appears] oh FFS"
"I like my women like I like my coffee I don't like coffee"
"[sees kid crying in the mall] ""What's wrong?"" ""I'm lost."" ""You're in the mall you little idiot."""
"Sorry I changed your ringtone to Salt-N-Pepa's ""push it"" and called you a bunch of times during your colonoscopy."