37764

Joke of the Day

"Lincoln should win for most likely DVD to be put on by substitute teachers"

"Why are so many computer scientists atheists? Because praying for a bug fix is guaranteed to fail."

"Good Night, Sleep Tight, Don't let Mike Tyson bite."

"People call me peanut-butter... Because everywhere I go, folks be gettin' jelly."

"Dear Applicant, Your resume appears to be a string of stolen tweets. Congratulations, you're our new VP of Marketing!"

"What did the farmers daughter say when she lost her virginity? Get off me dad your crushing my smokes!"

"So I taught my Grandad how to use skype ... Is it buffering or is he having a stroke?"

"Local video store is offering a chance to win free iPads, so naturally, I reported them as spam."

"ME: Why are you leaving? WIFE: I have hated every stupid pun of yours since we left Manhasset 20 years ago ME: Manhasset been that long?"

"What is Beethoven doing these days? Decomposing."