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Joke of the Day

"What is the similarity between tight rope walking and an old lady giving you head? You don't want to look down."

"Stolen Gate The other day, I looked out my window to see two guys stealing my side gate! I didn't say anything to them though. I didn't want them to take offence."

"Why does the Catholic Church protect paedophiles? Because the last time they shunned a child molester, he started Islam."

"One time i asked a guy what he was majoring in and he said women's studies... I then said, why are you in women's studies? You study women all the time!"

"Why are volcanoes mischievous? Because they erupt to no good."

"I can't remember what 51, 6 and 500 are in Roman numerals... ...fucking livid..."

"Lady came to front door & asked if I'd donate to new pool they're building for kids. I told her to hang on & came back with a glass of water"

"Two toothpicks are walking the forest. When all of a sudden a hedgehog walks by. The one toothpick says to the other, ""When did this place get a bus?"""

"I had to stop drinking, cause I got tired of waking up in my car driving 90."

"Why can't a blonde dial 911? She can't find the eleven."