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Joke of the Day

"What travels down an alley and is full of holes? Batman's Parents."

"Is that placebo working for you? Well, now that you mention it, no."

"What did Obama say when he called the Russian Parliament? ""Are you Putin me on?"""

"My son is suspended? Yes, in-school suspension. So he goes to school? Yes, but he's suspended. Suspended IN THE SCHOOL? Yes. Idiot."

"Why are people still using a dictionary? I just type the words into Google and see if it corrects me."

"In my first job, I had to proofread tampon box instructions. Grammar was good, but it was clear that they had no idea how a period works."

"What's the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs."

"The Parachuteless Dave Michael: Dave is so brave! He jumped out of a plane without a parachute! John: Ohh is it true? Where did you get the news? Michael: From his funeral."

"Liver Doctor: You are in trouble, your liver is enlarged Patient: Does that mean I have more space for whisky now?"

"I'll say ""HELLO PUPPY!"" to your dog, but you'll get the awkward half-smile."