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Joke of the Day

"Liver Doctor: You are in trouble, your liver is enlarged Patient: Does that mean I have more space for whisky now?"

"What lurks in the dark, has wings and sucks blood? The new Always Ultra."

"*grandpa walks in with a bearded man in a plaid shirt & skinny jeans* ""uhh grandpa who's that?"" ""my hip replacement"""

"Difference between jam and jelly You can't jelly your cock in a girls ass"

"What comes first? The Chicken or the Cart!"

"I had fruit and yogurt for breakfast. And 6 donuts for second-breakfast."

"6 year old: Daddy, what if the plane goes down? Me: Don't worry, your mom is with us. She never goes down. 6 year old: What? Me: Want candy?"

"*turns down the lights* Girl this is going to be a magical night *dumps legos on bed* ok first we need to separate these by color"

"I hate those Russian dolls They're so full of themselves."

"GAY WEBSITE NAME C : ### . com...... for those that don't get it : c (see) : (colon) pound pound pound . com"