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Joke of the Day

"Is that placebo working for you? Well, now that you mention it, no."

"The key to every relationship is honesty. Honesty. Honesty. Honesty. Honesty. ...Gonna keep typing this until she stops looking over my shoulder."

"Pro Tip: wash your hands after you shake mine"

"Did you hear about the man that threw a mineral at the cops? The police said it was a salt."

"I've just raped a retarded virgin. Pure and simple."

"[NSFU] Bill Gates' penis... What does his wife call it? Microsoft."

"Where does the general keep his armies? Up his sleevies."

"What keeps fish from flying of Niagara Falls? They don't have a pilots license."

"I met my statistics teacher at the store today... What are the odds!"

"We everyone, I wish a of you ovey people a happy christmas, ive ife to the fu est, and make merry with a your fami ies. crap sorry, noel."