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Joke of the Day
"I'll say ""HELLO PUPPY!"" to your dog, but you'll get the awkward half-smile."
Next Joke
"Quasimodo walks into a pub Goes up to the bar and asks for a scotch whiskey. Barman asks ""bells alright?"" Quasimodo snaps ""mind your own fucking business"""
"The inventor of AutoCorrect... ...is a stupid mass hole. He can fake right off."
"knock knock Knock knock? Who's there? King Tut King Tut who? King Tut Key Fried Chicken!"
"What's the most confusing day in the hood? Father's Day"
"It was Christmastime, and everybody was feeling Merry. So she went home."
"Behind every successful status update, there is a Ctrl C & Ctrl V"
"If a blind girl tells you that you've got a big penis... She's probably just pulling your leg."
"r/jokes is like staring into my toilet while periodically looking away after taking a dump. I keep seeing the same shit over and over again."
"RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Praying for telemarketers to call so I can experience human contact as I slowly dissolve into dust"