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Joke of the Day

"(Star Wars) If Finn and Rey hooked up and had a child The child would definitely be on the dark side"

"What is Michal Jackson A Chocolate Cracker (if they exist)"

"Headed to the gym. Gonna work on my diptroids. My gluteralids. My quadrapeps. Maybe my trapaceptals. Definitely my vocabulary."

"My friend asked me today if I started Christmas shopping. I'm crying. While digging a hole to bury her."

"I HAD A PANIC ROOM INSTALLED AND THEN I CAME IN AND NOW I'M TERRIFIED TO LEAVE OMG WHY DID I DO THIS?!"

"Roll, roll, roll your joint, Twist it at the end, Spark it up and take a puff, Then pass it to a friend."

"I went to buy a Christmas tree today The cashier asked me, ""Will you be putting that up yourself?"" I reply, ""No you sick fuck I'll be putting it up in my living room!"""

"Why did the snowman start smiling Because he saw the snow blower coming"

"What did the elephant say to the naked man? ""How do you breath through something so small?"""

"Want to hear a sports joke? Lance Armstrong"