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Joke of the Day

"I went to buy a Christmas tree today The cashier asked me, ""Will you be putting that up yourself?"" I reply, ""No you sick fuck I'll be putting it up in my living room!"""

"Robin Williams has died Thank you for the laughter"

"What Super Models should you invite to your birthday party ? Cake Moss and Naomi Candles"

"I should run for political office just to see what kind of scandalous dirt they dig up. It would be nice to piece together my twenties."

"Johnny Depps wife filed for divorce, thanks a lot Australia! This is why nice people don't visit you!"

"I hope I don't catch another weirdo pooping against the side of a 7-11 tomorrow because I'm not ready to love again."

"When I see your face, there's not a thing I would change .... except the direction I'm walking in."

"It's not karma, you're just an idiot."

"""The ONLY guaranteed way to lose weight is through Diet & Exercise!"" -People who haven't tried Meth"

"What's the difference between Batman, and a black man? Batman can go out at night without Robin. Ba-Dum-Tis!!!!!!!"