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Joke of the Day

"How many cockroaches does it take to change a light bulb? I don't know. When I turn on the light they're all gone."

"If you're forcing me to choose between you and my dream of making a sequel to the 1982 horror classic then you've got another Thing coming."

"Which reindeer have the shortest legs? The smallest ones."

"I hanged myself for being fat The rope broke"

"Me: we're throwing a surprise party for Tim Wife: don't you hate Tim? Me: [filling balloons with bees] yes"

"I remember... when I used to be really nostalgic. Those were the days."

"What's the difference between a French Knight and my friend with a genie? One's a Paladin, and the other's my pal Alladin"

"What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gang rape."

"""Still hung. Over."" -- well endowed truck driver."

"I work in a bar called Advice. I get really good tips."