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Joke of the Day

"How many Dragon Ball Z characters does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, but it is going to about 7 episodes."

"I've slept with a series of triplets i called it a waltz"

"I contacted Screwfix the other day. Once again they have assured me they're not a dating agency."

"Sometimes I dance on my bed half naked & sing into my hairbrush.... and other days... I take my medication."

"What should you do when you are cold? Stand in a corner, corners are 90 degrees"

"Whats similar between a hurricane and women? They come in hot and wet and leave with **THE LAWN CHAIRS WE BOUGHT TOGETHER SARA YOU BITCH!**"

"When my wife starts ... When my wife starts to sing I always go out and do some garden work so our neighbors can see there's no domestic violence going on."

"What's the difference between a woman in church and a woman in the bathtub? The woman in church has hope in her soul. Heard it on ""The Forbidden Room"" on Netflix"

"My friend said they didn't want to die abroad... But I thought they already were one?"

"[1st date] HER: So do you have any hobbies? SALT SHAKER: Nice dress! It would look great on my floor HER: What?! HIM: Just ventriloquism"