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Joke of the Day

"Whats similar between a hurricane and women? They come in hot and wet and leave with **THE LAWN CHAIRS WE BOUGHT TOGETHER SARA YOU BITCH!**"

"Why do Jihadists only drink instant coffee? Because they're cunts. EDIT: punchline."

"Women are like snorkels... They can go down, but occasionally need to come up for air."

"I've never met an air conditioned room I did not like."

"Whats a statisticians favourite S Club 7 song? Reach For The **Stats**."

"Once I came across a bridge that was half concrete and half covered in asphalt It was a real hybridge."

"I used to be addicted to deli sandwiches ...but I quit cold turkey"

"I don't always roll a joint... ...but when I do, it's an ankle."

"""As first lady you would be responsible for the White House china. Any thoughts?"" MELANIA TRUMP: Oh, Donald says he's getting rid of China"

"My New Year's resolution is 1920 x 1080!"