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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a woman in church and a woman in the bathtub? The woman in church has hope in her soul. Heard it on ""The Forbidden Room"" on Netflix"

"You know you're getting old when ... the doctor tells you to slow down and the cops tell you to speed up."

"How many bassists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. Just have the keybord player do it with their left hand."

"People: why do dogs bark at the mail man every single day Dogs: the mailman has literally never gotten in how do you not see what I'm doing"

"Every time i hear a mean joke about canadians, i go to the hospital right away and get my feelings checked. ...For free..."

"I am bored. Anyone need anything avenged?"

"Autocorrect doesn't recognize my gangsta nature."

"What's the best thing about duct tape? It turns ""No no no!"" Into ""Mmm mmm mmm!"""

"If I check out your blog, what will you do for me? Love me? Ok fine, but you're telling my mom we're going out."

"What did the horny Astronomer say to the telescope? I wanna see Uranus."