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Joke of the Day
"What did the mermaid wear for good luck on her math test? Her *algaebra*."
Next Joke
"Jesus: one of you will betray me tonight *checks phone* Jesus: WHO IN DAD'S NAME UNFOLLOWED ME?!"" *judas slyly slips phone back in robe*"
"I figure soon we will be grounding our children by sending them outside to play"
"did you hear about the miners' new album? i really dig it"
"My girlfriend got a tattoo of a seashell on her inner thigh... ...and if I put my ear against it I can smell the ocean"
"What's the difference between a Greyhound bus depot and a lobster with big boobs? One's a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean."
"What do you call a gay paraplegic? Rolaids."
"What's the difference between jam and jelly? (Nsfw) I can't jelly my dick in your sisters ass!"
"My 7 year old told us some nut jokes. What do you call a nut on a wall? A walnut! What do you call a nut at the beach? A beech nut! What do you call a nut in the toilet? A peanut!!"
"I had I dream I wrote The Hobbit, and Lord of the Rings trilogy. I was Tolkien in my sleep."