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Joke of the Day

"I before E, except after C, or when sounding like A in words like neighbor and weigh. **Weird...**"

"I need some white people jokes! I would especially love to hear these from someone of a different race. It's my birthday and this would make it complete."

"What animal is faster than a cheetah? A cow dropped out of a helicopter."

"""I love potatoes! They are delicious and so versatile. If only they could get me laid..."" -how vodka was born"

"I met a girl with 12 boobs once... sounds funny dozen tit."

"What's the difference between a take-out dinner and a make-out session? How can you take something out you've never put in?"

"I commented on a ELI5 about occam's razor. My answer wasn't long enough and was flagged by the moderator-bot."

"Why nuns don't wear bras? God supports everything."

"Worst thing about having a daughter is... No matter how hard you try you're daughter is gonna have some other man's dick in her mouth."

"Wife: The police are here asking about a break in at the pet store Me from within a pile of puppies: Tell them I'm not here."