90706

Joke of the Day

"Why are there commentators for televised sports? We can figure out what's going on live, but can't while watching it on tv?"

"Does anyone else have a girlfriend great enough to tell them that they have herpes? Well, me neither"

"Make your employees work 8x faster by constantly playing that music from Sonic the Hedgehog when you've been under water for too long."

"Losing weight is so easy now. I'm just chasing the kids around all day - Jared Fogle"

"That awkward moment when you check the price tag and then slowly walk away."

"The second I get shampoo in my eyes, I'm 100% sure there's a murderer in my bathroom."

"I've been searching months for my girlfriends killer. But nobody will do it."

"What is Forrest Gump's favorite pasta? Penne (Pen-nay)"

"What happens when a Jewish man with an erection walks into a wall? He breaks his nose."

"What is a psychic medium? ...smaller than a psychic large."