90706

Joke of the Day

"Why are there commentators for televised sports? We can figure out what's going on live, but can't while watching it on tv?"

"The most disappointing moment of my adult life was when I found out a vaporizer is an e-cigarette and not a death ray that vaporizes people."

"What do you call a fish with no eye? Fsssssssh"

"Whats the difference between Barcak Hussein Obama (or any bought and paid for American politician) and a bucket, full of horse sh*t? Not much, the bucket. Just the bucket my friends."

"I've just been rushed to A&E after swallowing some lego.... The doctor's don't seem worried but i'm shitting bricks"

"*sinks into depression* Depression: ""Wrong hole."""

"Judging by this line at Costco it doesn't look like I'll ever see my family again. Sweet."

"Nobody uses DVDs. Most of em' use Torrents. Hence DVD Rip"

"A PROBLEMIC POLEMIC Q: Why did the woman cross the road? A: Who knows why the heck they do anything?"

"*Takes kids for sushi before seeing ""Finding Dory""*"