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Joke of the Day

"*Takes kids for sushi before seeing ""Finding Dory""*"

"What happened to Han when Chewie wouldn't do the marathon? He Ran Solo..."

"Why did the console gamer cross the street? To render the rest of the buildings"

"A recent study by UN has found dexter to be the no 1 cause for ocean pollution"

"they smoked a joint and overthrew the government. now that's a high coup"

"Oral relief 'Darling, I want some.... Oral relief.' 'You mean you want a blowjob?' 'No, I just want you to shut up.'"

"How is Sandusky like a tortoise? He gets there before the hair..."

"As new head of Westboro Baptist Church, I'm expanding who God hates. To start: delivery guys, vegetarians, and people who do Sudoku."

"What's the best way to make your wife angry during sex? Call her and tell her where you are."

"[spelling bee] JUDGE: your word is antonym ME: synonym JUDGE: no you have to spell it, not give an example ME: *lips on mic* i-t"