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Joke of the Day

"I've just been rushed to A&E after swallowing some lego.... The doctor's don't seem worried but i'm shitting bricks"

"So I'm gay and single .... Does that make me homolone?"

"New glasses ""New glasses? They look super, man!"" Clark Kent begins to sweat."

"What do you call a broken can-opener? A can't opener."

"If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child."

"Two strangers are introduced ""you have such a lovely name"" ""thanks, I got it for my birthday"""

"To people calling themselves ""Grammar Nazis"": you're not correcting grammar so much as punctuation or spelling. Hi, I'm a Nomenclature Nazi."

"What do you do when you see a space man? Park the car, man."

"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea? I'v never paid $20 to have a garbanzo bean on my face"

"Why are proteins so cranky? Because they're made of a mean ol' acids."