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Joke of the Day

"What goes ""Clip clop, clip clop, clip clop, clip clop, BANG, clip clop, clip clop""? Amish drive by shooting."

"What do you call Charlie Sheen in a wheelchair? ROLAIDS"

"Cantaloupe... or Wontaloupe?"

"A year on twitter... I remember when all this was fields."

"For starters, you drew your mom the same size as the house. Good enough for the fridge? I don't even want it in my garbage."

"At least I now know why the lions leave the plains before the end of summer. Because the Pride goeth before the Fall."

"In the case of emergencies, why are women and children evacuated first? So that men can think for a solution in silence."

"What did Santa say to the three prostitutes? (Pointing to each in turn) Ho! Ho! Ho!"

"[covered in olive oil, salt, pepper and other herbs and spices] Professor: ""That's just not what I meant when I said ""come prepared""..."""

"The police are looking for a stole toilet from the police station. At the moment they have nothing to go on."