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Joke of the Day

"In the case of emergencies, why are women and children evacuated first? So that men can think for a solution in silence."

"What do you tell a girl with two black eyes? Nothing, she has already been told twice."

"A wife is like a boomerang the harder you throw the faster she comes back."

"I always make it a point to become friends with babies. That's free cake once a year for a lifetime."

"Sharp and short! **Husband** : I love you! **Wife** : Not today!"

"My local radio station is asking people to send in funny photographs taken when you were pissed. So I've sent in my wedding album."

"What do the official USGA rules state when... you and your opponent are looking for his ball, and he claims to have found it, but you know he is lying because you have it in your pocket?"

"A guy got hit by a car in his left side. He's all right now."

"My parents asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I said I wanna watch. So they let me"

"What's the gift that keeps on giving? AIDS"