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Joke of the Day

"I've made the front page 5 times! The girls on /r/creepyPMs are really mean and don't understand the P means Private."

"If you ever get cold... Just stand in a corner. They're usually around 90 degrees!"

"What do you call a teeth specialist who writes books? An author-dontist Wahey!"

"I want to listen to the audiobook of The Qur'an. Can someone please burn me a copy? Seriously, folks..."

"Sup, ducks? Lookin' straight nuclear with your orange ass bills & your furry yellow torsos. All aquatic & shit. Lazy as hell, too. One love."

"Sometimes my dog looks super fucking delicious. #AsianPeopleProblems"

"I don't know why people always make such a fuss about how much a newborn weighs. It's a baby, not a stash of cocaine."

"How does a seamstress reply to someone asking her how her day was? So,so....."

"What's green and flies over Germany ? Snazis. This insanely corny joke brought to you by my Dad, circa 1990. May he rest in peace!"

"What is the difference between feminists and Nazis? One group has a purpose and lots of support and the other is full of nagging women."