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Joke of the Day

"If you ever get cold... Just stand in a corner. They're usually around 90 degrees!"

"Frederick Fox, hatmaker for the British Royalty, died today. He was one in a milliner."

"[*Wakes up on sofa] ""Did I...DID I HAVE A FIGHT WITH BATMAN?"" Wife [from bedroom]: ""YOU. PUNCHED. A. NUN."""

"A lot of people like to smoke ciggarettes after sex. But you can't buy ciggarettes until you're 16. So I have to get them for both of us"

"My daughter wants a pony and my wife wants a new dishwasher, so I'm compromising and buying them a goat."

"My uncle was a world-famous chainsaw juggler. For one show."

"Someone talked to me today about having two X chromosomes. Typical woman."

"what does a man with a 9"" cock eat for breakfast? this morning, I ate some toast, cereal, coffee, bacon & eggs, hash browns..."

"Glad I read the label on that Clorox. I was about to rub it in my eyes and keep it in the reach of so many children."

"If pro and con are opposites... Is progress the opposite of Congress?"