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Joke of the Day

"How does a seamstress reply to someone asking her how her day was? So,so....."

"I'm teaching my 2 year old about currency so I can figure out what coin she just swallowed."

"[hunting] ""In order to attract the stag, I perform the special call"" [clears throat, cups hands round mouth] ""COME OVER HERE, ANTLER JERK"""

"Why did the French milkman have to hurry? He was running lait"

"Did you hear about the dog who went to the flea circus? He stole the show."

"So apparently when a woman asks what you're looking for in a relationship, ""a way out"" isn't the right answer."

"How do you know a cat is ready to leave? He makes a fe-line for the door."

"What did the pirate with a wheel in his pants say. Arr, I don't know what it is but it's drivin' me nuts!"

"I'm scared to go to sleep tonight knowing some maniac is running around out there slightly deflating footballs."

"Why can't the bishop walk straight? Cause he can only move diagonally"