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Joke of the Day

"I try to avoid buying into this ""Americans are stupid"" stereotype but, for fuck's sake......"

"There's a new drink called the Sandy It's a watered down Manhattan."

"That awkward moment when you can't decide if it's just a bad pic or you really look like that."

"Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil and paper"

"I once fell in love with an English Teacher.... ...I wrote her a love letter and she corrected it."

"Siri, make me pancakes. You have a Blackberry, Linda. Go home, Linda, you're drunk."

"Why didn't the pony speak? Because he was a little hoarse...."

"WHEN CATS ARE SAD Bartender: What'll ya have? Cat: Shot of rum. [Bartender pours it] [Cat slowly pushes it off the bar] Cat: Another."

"I hate father in laws So I only date black girls"

"I want to be so famous... That I can just go as myself for Halloween."