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Joke of the Day

"WHEN CATS ARE SAD Bartender: What'll ya have? Cat: Shot of rum. [Bartender pours it] [Cat slowly pushes it off the bar] Cat: Another."

"What's the difference between the Polish and polish? No one bats an eye if you use chemicals to remove polish, but if you use chemicals to remove the Polish, most of the world will turn against you"

"Autocorrect changed 'get a life' to 'get a wife' and now my daughter is a lesbian."

"#Parenthood Throwing a ball to a two year old is like....well...playing ""throw a ball and go get it yourself""...."

"Went to my first fight Club tonight, was so much fun, got there a bit late so I missed the first bit of induction. But wow was it fun! Anyone who is keen or wants to know more, hit me up for details!"

"Me: There's nothing better than a quiet evening out with friends after a hectic week. Tequila: We're gonna fight every girl in this bar!"

"When someone tells me to give them a straight answer, I make sure I go out of my way to give them a really gay one."

"How are a grenade and a girlfriend similar? If they're good ones, they'll both blow really well."

"How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two! One to screw it in and one to suck my dick. *Drew Carey"

"Two cannibals are eating a clown One turns to the other and says ""Does this taste funny to you?"" I decided to post this classic especially with the clown epidemic going on"