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Joke of the Day

"Why won't the holocaust survivor vote for Bernie Sanders? He doesn't want to feel the Bern."

"I'm unsure whether I like my beard. But it's growing on me."

"Gandalf gave me a test... I didn't pass."

"As a kid I was frightened of the dentist... Because he was a Paedophile every time I went in he'd give me a filling"

"Warning... Corny level is over 9000... What do you call a billionaire fish? A gillionaire"

"When my friend told me to stop acting like a flamingo... ...I just had to put my foot down..."

"Thief: Did u see me rob this bank?nTeller: well, yes!nn*Teller shot in the head*nThief: DID U SEE ME ROB THIS BANK?nMe: No. But my wife did!"

"i have two wives and i take care of them both equally and love them both equally. ain't that bigamy?"

"In my town alot of people are mean... It's pretty average for them."

"What do rabbis call the leftovers of a circumcision? Debris."