102009

Joke of the Day

"I'm unsure whether I like my beard. But it's growing on me."

"You could put me in any city, and I could find a Taco Bell or Chipotle within minutes. My burridar is accurate to about 10 meters."

"The first time I run out of windshield wiper fluid is the last time I have windshield wiper fluid."

"They might as well put ""Uhhh..."" in front of every item on drive-thru menus."

"I saw the funniest joke on television the other day. It was Hillary Clinton's campaign. I couldn't stop laughing."

"Why is a shooting star better than a hamburger? It's meteor."

"The sampler tester at the liquor store told me to stop coming back every hour in a disguise."

"If a velociraptor is running.. and he speeds up, does he become an acceleraptor?"

"sorry I called your baby an ""it"""

"Why do new Irish mothers keep dying? Because they lack taters"