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Joke of the Day
"Nobody except an English major appreciates when I say ... my granddaughter has double Ds"
Next Joke
"Star trek predicting future technology? How do we know apple won't be around long? Because Captain Picard uses an android."
"That awesome moment when you comment and get more likes than a person who has tried to insult you in their status. Priceless."
"Being a prostitute on the Enterprise sounded interesting... But actually it's mostly Data entry."
"Working on a theory that Johnny Depp died shortly after The Rum Diary and filthy scarves and wigs are simply wheeled onto movie sets now"
"""the immaturity and the copying are my main issues"" I say in a whiny voice as my wife storms out of the counsellors office"
"Nice try, Team USA. Not bad for a country that only cares about soccer for two weeks every other year!"
"What did the famous musician say the moment he was born? *I'LL BE BACH*"
"An English Girl.. WIFE: ""I'm going to LONDON. What gift do you want?"" HUSBAND: ""An English girl."" After a month, wife returns.. HUSBAND: ""Where is my gift?"" WIFE: ""Wait for nine months!"""
"My wife said she wanted more variety in our sex life. Now I tell a few jokes, fuck her then sing a song."