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Joke of the Day

"My wife said she wanted more variety in our sex life. Now I tell a few jokes, fuck her then sing a song."

"Why do guitarists put drumsticks on the dash of their car? So they can park in the handicapped spot."

"How can tell your roommate is gay? His dick tastes like shit."

"The package says ""Do not eat raw cookie dough"" but all I really see is ""Pillsbury hates you and doesn't want you to be happy."""

"What's the key to long lasting Relationships? Not breaking up"

"Don't Drake and drive or you'll end up at your ex's house."

"BREAKING NEWS: Just in from a correspondent in the Middle East. ISIS to buy all Samsung Galaxy Note 7. #note7"

"Me: What's the first step of fire safety? 4-year-old: Stay away from dragons. Me: 4: Me: Well, obviously."

"Why is eastern europe filled with strippers? Because they like Poles."

"Why is it called xbox one? Because when you see it, you turn one degree and walk away."