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Joke of the Day

"That awesome moment when you comment and get more likes than a person who has tried to insult you in their status. Priceless."

"What's the difference between an erection and Colin Kaepernick? An erection can make it past the semis, and still stand up if you sing for it."

"Why did the pickle stop being a contortionist? It was to cucumbersome."

"A man walks into a hotel with his family. He tells the clerk: ""I hope the porn is disabled."" The clerk replies: ""It's just regular porn you sick fuck. """

"Some say English is tough... Some say English is tough, it can be understood through thorough thought though."

"I always try to tell myself that I don't actually hate people as much as I say I do...and then I go to the mall."

"What do you call a Maxican migdet? A paragraph because their not a full ese"

"I like it soft and warm. Uh huh. Yea girl, go ahead and throw that figgy pudding in the microwave for a bit."

"Why did the vulture have to check some luggage at the gate? It was only allowed one piece of carrion."

"What do you call a ghost that lives in your butt? An ass-soul"