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Joke of the Day

"On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun."

"Two guys talking ""Tell me , have you ever been awakened by a blowjob?"" ""No ,i always sleep with my mouth shut."""

"I don't get ""drunk"" during the holidays I get ""festive""."

"Me: I'd like to adopt that baby. Clerk: Sir, that's a family sized platter of Super Nachos."

"What does Bill Cosby have in common with a Pokemon trainer? He makes sure his catch is weak before he throws his balls at them."

"officer: give me your name me: then what am I going to use?"

"I think armless persons are the best You've gotta hand it to them."

"My hips don't lie. The bastards run around telling everybody how much I like donuts."

"What did Alan Rickman say when he stood over David Bowie's grave? Do you mind if I Slytherin?"

"TIL that skydiving... ...without a parachute, is a once in a lifetime experience."