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Joke of the Day

"Two guys talking ""Tell me , have you ever been awakened by a blowjob?"" ""No ,i always sleep with my mouth shut."""

"So happy I got to see ""bucket list"" added to the dictionary before I die."

"One pirate says to the other, ""Ey, you want some grog?"" And the other says, ""I made tea!"""

"""Sorry, I don't date block guys.""- racist lego woman."

"A man has been admitted to hospital after pushing 6 plastic horses up his anus. Doctors declared his condition as ""stable""."

"Q: What did the blonde's dentist find? A: Teeth in the cavity."

"What do you call a display of Australian patriotism? Stockholm Syndrome."

"What's the difference in a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants? Ones a crusty bus station, the others a busty crustacean."

"Did you hear about the University of Miami fullback who stayed up all night studying for his urine test?"

"A man comes homes and sees his girlfriend packing... ""What are you doing?"" He asks ""I'm leaving you"" ""But why"" ""Because you're a pedophile"" ""Pedophile?... big word for an 11 year old"""