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Joke of the Day
"They say 9 or 10 is a good age to tell your kid they were adopted, but only IF they were adopted."
Next Joke
"Is your refrigerator running?... Cause it would probably be a better president #fridge2k16"
"I farted in a room full of hipsters? They argued for two hours about who heard it first."
"I went to a nightclub the other evening and saw a topless ventriloquist. She was really good. I never saw her lips move."
"if ur in a bad mood & somone says ""have a good day"" the best response is to yell ""HEY EVRYONE THIS DUDES HANDING OUT GOOD DAYS COME GET ONE"""
"boss: why aren't you working? me: i didn't see you coming!"
"Never date a chemist, they seduce you with their magnetism, only call you periodically, then one day: Boom! They Argon."
"Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs? Q: Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs? A: Because he doesn't want anyone to know he's screwing the chickens."
"Some one gave me a broken knife 3 days ago. I didn't get the point."
"GF: I'm leaving you because you're obsessed with Spanish puns and Despicable Me. ME: Please don't go. You're Juan in a minion."