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Joke of the Day
"boss: why aren't you working? me: i didn't see you coming!"
Next Joke
"911: What's your emergency? Me: Hunting accident. I think my friend is dead 911: Can you verify that he's dead? *gunshot* Me: Yep, he's dead"
"I told my friend that I disproved the theory of conservation of mass, But he didn't understand the weight of the situation."
"The other day, someone called me an oxymoron. I was raging calm."
"Leaving your cell phone unlocked near your girlfriend is like leaving a cake near a fat kid"
"How to tell if someone doesn't crossfit"
"Two Communists are hanging out at a nudist park... One says, ""So, have you read Marx?"" ""Yeah, it's these damn wicker chairs."""
"How many Freemasons does it take to screw in a light bulb? It's a secret!"
"If your girlfriend says she's going out to run some errands and comes back with 6 bags from the mall... You might be dating my wife."
"I always get burnt during summer time. I would go under trees but they're a little shady."