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Joke of the Day
"I farted in a room full of hipsters? They argued for two hours about who heard it first."
Next Joke
"Why was Noah the best businessman? He floated his stock while the rest of the world was in liquidation. The greatest journalist? Samson. He took two columns and made an impression on everyone."
"Me: We broke up. Male Friend: You okay? You need to talk? Shoulder to cry on? You want to come over? Go to dinner? Sleep with me finally?"
"Every time I'm at a friend's house I look at the ceiling & say ""You like to watch, don't you.."" so I look cool if they have a hidden spy cam"
"What does a rotting corpse say? idk"
"Why do church bells never send e-mails? They'd rather give each other a ring."
"i said no to the dress & now my familys being held against their will in an undisclosed location theyve already sent me two of my son's toes"
"Q: What kind of bar do fish go to? A: A sand bar."
"How many Mexicans does it take to change a Lightbuld? Only Juan..."
"I just like to sleep naked... The flight attendant could have been a bit more understanding."