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Joke of the Day

"if ur in a bad mood & somone says ""have a good day"" the best response is to yell ""HEY EVRYONE THIS DUDES HANDING OUT GOOD DAYS COME GET ONE"""

"i heard they were giving away batteries down the local discount store turns out they were free of charge."

"Famous Russian snooker player Inov the red"

"You know the joke about this guy playing with a loaded gun? Triggered."

"As a Volkswagen Engineer, do you know what really grinds my gears? The Tiptronic transmission, actually, but I invented these noise cancelling headphones!"

"I started working for a company that made hinges It really opened a lot of doors for me"

"[Siri Beta] What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with an alien? A mars-upial"

"It was when I stabbed a Capri Sun perfectly the first time, right in that grey circle, that I knew I wanted to be an assassin."

"Two cows at the North Pole... One turns to the other and says ""Don't know about you but I'm Friesian""."

"What do you call Halloween for feminists? Triggertreat"