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Joke of the Day

"GF: I'm leaving you because you're obsessed with Spanish puns and Despicable Me. ME: Please don't go. You're Juan in a minion."

"What do pizza delivery drivers and gynecologist shave in common? They both have to smell it but never get to eat it"

"Depressed cows feel like life is udderly hopeless. But now there's hope. Ask your doctor if Cowbucil is right for your cow."

"Man, all the girls I saw today were so hot ...because it was 90 degrees out."

"I tried to blow a hair off my laptop screen so now there's some spit next to the hair."

"Breastfeeding your infant is important. But what about the wings and thighs? Should I just leave the whole KFC bucket in the crib?"

"What do you do when you come across Santa on New Years Eve? You wipe it off and apologize."

"Why are men better cooks? They only need 2 eggs n 1 sausage to keep a girl full for 9 months"

"How come Peter Pan keeps on flying? Because he Neverlands"

"How does a comedian like his eggs? Funny side up"