202813

Joke of the Day

"Never date a chemist, they seduce you with their magnetism, only call you periodically, then one day: Boom! They Argon."

"I can't tell if Michael Cera is actually an actor, or just an awkward guy who keeps wandering onto film sets and does his best to fit in."

"I've only just realised that Saturday contains the word 'turd'. How marvelous."

"How can you tell the difference between a monster and a banana? Try picking it up. If you can't it's either a monster or a giant banana."

"I was in the supermarket and I thought I saw my name on a loaf of bread. I looked again and it said ""thick cut""."

"Pet Cemetery 3: People get tired of resurrecting pets and relatives. Somebody buries dinosaur bones. Jurassic Park ensues."

"What has 9 arms & sucks........ Def Lepard."

"On a cold, late December day... ... the wall calendar looked across the room at the advent calendar and said: ""It looks like our days are numbered, pal""."

"How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb? It's a really obscure number. You've probably never heard of it."

"What happened to the over amorous clam? It pulled a mussel."