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Joke of the Day

"Gyms are full of people that haven't found the right couch."

"Time for a , ""How many ___ does it take to screw in lightbulb?"", thread! Q: How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: THAT'S NOT FUNNY!"

"I hired a PR team. They said the public would like me more if I stopped executing people. I executed the PR team."

"What do you call a fat man trying out a new tempurpedic mattress? The great depression"

"Sometimes you just have to grab the bull by the balls before you realize ""This can't be right."""

"The ""we're going to need a bigger boat"" scene from Jaws but just me looking at the shopping carts at the liquor store."

"*in the back of a police car* can ya'll hand me the aux cord?"

"The only people that get more concussions than NFL players... ...Are their wives"

"#jenesuispascharlie #jesuisrdkw Is it that difficult to get over your identity crisis reddit?"

"What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? [well ..](/s""The pizza doesn't scream when it's in the oven"")"