83911

Joke of the Day

"I have a great story to tell u. ""Why don't u just go write a book"" Wow, that's- ""Don't u dare say it-"" a novel idea. ""I'm moving out"""

"What do you call an overpriced and overhyped game? No Man's Sky."

"When does Sean Connery like to show up at Wimbeldon? Tennish."

"Jokes about women aren't funny... Period."

"I had my stag do in Amsterdam. To remember the occasion my mates got me a sweater. I'd have preferred a moaner or a screamer, however."

"What's the difference between a Methodist and a Baptist? A Methodist will say ""hi"" to you at the liquor store"

"Does a litter box count as a guest bathroom?"

"I wish Gene Wilder was still alive today... He'd probably be ecstatic knowing one of his oompa loompa's grew up to be president :')"

"What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A quarter-pounder with Cheese"

"Me: *breathes"" My parents: you need to watch that attitude young man."