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Joke of the Day

"I wish Gene Wilder was still alive today... He'd probably be ecstatic knowing one of his oompa loompa's grew up to be president :')"

"I can't stand being in a wheelchair. Don't even try and tell me that joke was offensive. Atleast it wasn't a blind joke. I can't see how those are funny."

"My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60... Now hes 97 years old and we have no idea where he is..."

"IT'S A BIRD! NO, ITS A PLANE! HOLY SHIT it's Dave!"

"Did you hear Cyan delayed the release of Obduction again? Apparently they myst some deadlines."

"What do you call two British men, searching for a donkey? Assless chaps. Source: http://www.mrlovenstein.com/images/comics/345_daft_for_donkey.png"

"Number Bullying 1 was making fun of 0 for being fat and how he equates to nothing. This continued for several weeks until 0 had enough. He grabs 1 by his throat and shouts ""Stop boolean me!""."

"A Mexican performs a magic trick. He tells the audience he'll disappear on the count of 3. He says, ""Uno, dos..."" and then *poof* ... he disappeared without a tres!"

"I'm bored I think I'll go to the mall, find a really good parking spot and sit there with my reverse lights on."

"Why couldn't the founding fathers ever get a date? They were revolting"