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Joke of the Day

"I had my stag do in Amsterdam. To remember the occasion my mates got me a sweater. I'd have preferred a moaner or a screamer, however."

"I don't get why everyone talks so fast in old movies. What was the hurry? There was nothing to do back then."

"Pregnancy tests in movies are so weird... She hands him the test and he stands there holding this stick of pee like it isn't a stick of pee"

"I got fired from my job at the sperm bank I said ""Get a load of this guy,"" every time someone walked in."

"Two prime numbers stayed married for life. They couldn't be divided"

"Have you heard of the band 1023 Megabytes? They've never had any gigs."

"Why can't witches have babies? Because their husbands have hollow-weenies."

"I like my coffee like I like my women..... ....ground up and in the freezer."

"My neighborhood barber just got arrested for selling drugs.. I've been his customer for 6 years. I had no idea he was a barber"

"If I had a Nickel for every terrible Canadian rock band, I know I'd at least get a Nickelback. I'll let myself out."