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Joke of the Day
"What does a horny man living in Northern Russia need? He needs two jacket."
Next Joke
"[at the vets] He's really bad. He can't fly. ""He's a cat though."" [very sarcastically] oh I'm sorry is this the vets or the excuses clinic?"
"My roommate broke my favorite Russell Crowe dvd, and she was eaten by a crocodile shortly after. I'm actually kinda Gladiator."
"My neighbors are organizing something called a ""fun run"". This shit never happened when I lived in my car."
"Drug companies are like high school boyfriends They're much more concerned with getting inside you than being effective once they get in there. - Credit to John Oliver"
"This guy just rubbed up against me so hard in line at Starbucks now I know what an altar boy feels like."
"Have you seen that sexy taser? She's stunning."
"How many factory farmers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they would rather keep you in the dark!"
"Floyd Mayweather is unbeaten Can't say the same about the women in his life"
"Daughter asked me she wants to feel like a princess so I forced her on a marriage with a man she's never met to secure our alliance with the French."